birth partners Archives

Posted on April 1, 2025January 13, 2026 by Tina G — Leave a comment

Supporting the Childbirth Process

A Guide to Helping Parents Bring New Life into the World

Supporting the childbirth process: A Guide to Helping Parents Bring New Life into the World

Childbirth is one of the most significant moments in a parent’s life. While it is a natural process, it can also be physically and emotionally challenging. Support during labour and birth plays a crucial role in making the experience more positive and manageable. Whether you are a partner, family member, friend, or birth worker, knowing how to offer the right support can make all the difference.

Understanding the Childbirth Process

Labour typically unfolds in three stages:

First Stage – This is the longest phase, where contractions gradually open the cervix. It includes early, active, and transition phases.
Second Stage – This is when the baby is born as the parent pushes through contractions.
Third Stage – The placenta is delivered, and medical staff ensure the parent’s well-being.

Knowing what to expect at each stage helps supporters provide reassurance and encouragement.

Emotional Support: The Power of Reassurance

A calm and confident presence can ease a labouring parent’s stress. Encouraging words, holding hands, and offering gentle reassurance help them feel safe and supported. Simple phrases like “You’re doing amazingly” or “I’m right here with you” can be powerful.

It’s also important to respect their preferences. Some may want quiet, while others benefit from verbal motivation. Being attentive to their needs ensures they feel in control and cared for.

Physical Comfort Measures

There are many ways to provide physical comfort during labour:

Massage and Touch – Gentle back rubs, counter-pressure on the lower back, or a warm hand on the shoulder can relieve tension and discomfort.
Breathing Techniques – Encouraging slow, deep breaths helps manage pain and anxiety. Practising these beforehand can be helpful.
Position Changes – Movement and different positions (such as squatting, standing, or leaning) can ease pain and help labour progress.
Hydration and Nutrition – Small sips of water and light snacks (if permitted) help maintain energy levels.

Advocating for the Labouring Parent

In the intensity of labour, communication with medical staff can be overwhelming. A supportive birth partner can help by ensuring the parent’s preferences are respected. This includes reminding healthcare professionals of their birth plan and asking for explanations about medical procedures if needed.

Advocacy does not mean making decisions on their behalf but rather ensuring they feel informed and empowered. Respecting their choices is essential for a positive birth experience.

Managing Pain: Options and Encouragement

Pain relief choices vary for every person. Some prefer natural methods, while others opt for medical pain relief such as gas and air, pethidine, or an epidural. Supporting their decision, without judgement, is crucial.

If they choose to avoid medication, distraction techniques such as music, dim lighting, warm baths, or hypnobirthing practices can help. If they decide on medical pain relief, encouraging them through the process and reminding them that every birth journey is unique can be reassuring.

If you are a birth worker reading this, you might find some of my printable activities helpful for your childbirth education classes and session. Below you’ll find my latest offers:

The Importance of Post-Birth Support

Supporting the childbirth process doesn’t end once the baby is born. The postnatal period is a time of physical recovery and emotional adjustment. Encouraging rest, helping with newborn care, and offering emotional support are just as important after birth as they are during labour.

Small actions, like bringing a meal, holding the baby while the parent naps, or simply listening to their experiences, can make a huge difference. Reassure them that it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions and encourage them to seek support if needed.

Final Thoughts

Supporting someone through childbirth is a privilege and a responsibility. Being informed, compassionate, and adaptable allows you to provide meaningful help. Every birth experience is different, but the right support can make it a more positive and empowering journey for the parent bringing new life into the world.

Posted on September 16, 2023November 6, 2026 by Tina G — Leave a comment

What are antenatal classes?

Antenatal classes are sessions that prepare expectant parents for birth and early parenthood. They give parents information and practical skills so they can approach this life-changing time with confidence. Formats vary, but classes usually cover pregnancy health, labour and birth, pain relief and self-help techniques, infant feeding, newborn care and sleep, postnatal recovery, postnatal mental health and where to find support.

Who goes to an antenatal class?

Where possible, it helps for both parents to attend. That way both of you understand the birth process and can take an active part in decisions. Learning together and sharing your hopes, worries and expectations can also strengthen your bond.

Classes are usually attended by couples, or by pregnant women and people with their birth partners, but they can be just as valuable for lone parents.

Are antenatal classes suitable for lone or single parents?

Being a lone parent during pregnancy and birth can bring its own challenges and worries. Antenatal classes offer a supportive space to connect with other expectant parents, gain knowledge and resources, build confidence, practise skills and start building a support network.

Lone parents can learn techniques to manage the physical and emotional demands of labour, as well as ways to bond with their baby and prepare a calm, positive environment for their arrival.

Classes often cover newborn care too, such as feeding, nappy changing, bathing and soothing. For parents who may not have family or a partner close by, this practical knowledge can be especially helpful.

Just as importantly, classes are a place to share experiences, concerns and questions. For lone parents, they can be a safe space to meet others in similar circumstances, building a sense of community and reducing isolation.

Who provides antenatal classes?

In the UK, many NHS trusts offer free antenatal classes, so ask your midwife what is available locally. Some family hubs and children’s centres run classes too. Paid options include the National Childbirth Trust (NCT), independent antenatal teachers, hypnobirthing teachers and doulas. You can read more on the NHS page about antenatal and hypnobirthing classes.

Are antenatal classes worth it?

Whichever provider you choose, antenatal classes offer many benefits. As well as knowledge and practical skills, they can ease anxiety, build confidence and give you a supportive community at a special time. They are well worth considering if you want thorough preparation for the journey ahead.

Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:

hypnobirthing mp3s
hypnobirthing scripts
written information
infographics and other imagery
printable handouts
printable workbook/journal

Enroll now

Posted on July 11, 2023November 6, 2026 by Tina G — Leave a comment

5 Things to look for when choosing your childbirth education

Want to feel prepared for the birth of your baby (or babies)? Here are 5 things to look for when choosing your childbirth education.

As the birth of your baby approaches, you may have a lot of questions. What does a contraction wave feel like? How will I know when to call the midwife? What kind of breathing techniques can I use? How do I know when it is time to push?

You may also feel a mix of emotions – excitement, nervousness, stress, even anxiety. The good news is that preparing for the birth can ease your fears and build your confidence. Choosing the right childbirth course for you (and your partner) is key: it should give you practical knowledge about the physiology of birth, and tell you where to find practical and emotional support.

5 Things to look for when choosing your childbirth education

1. Does the course agree with your idea on childbirth?

Whether you’re planning a vaginal birth, caesarean birth, waterbirth, home birth or something else, make sure your chosen course supports your wishes and preferences. How you give birth is up to you.

Knowing the general philosophy of the birth course you are considering is essential. The techniques that you’ll be learning should be something that you can see yourself doing and something that you believe in. The techniques should support you to achieve the birth you are aiming for.

2. Which topics are covered during the course?

If this is your first baby, your course should cover everything you need to know about your options and what to expect. If you’ve given birth before, you may prefer a refresher course – and you may also want to prepare older siblings for the arrival of their little brother or sister. Learning about childbirth can ease anxiety and help you make informed choices, but the wrong type of course can increase anxiety, so choose your course and its leader carefully.

3. Who created the course?

Who created the childbirth preparation course? Are they a medical professional or a teacher? Are they an expert in childbirth education? Check their certifications and experience! You want the person and organisation offering your childbirth preparation course to be established and reputable. Ask them to show you proof of their qualification(s).

4. What format is the course in?

Check the format of the course. You may prefer a course which focuses on the birth only, or one that includes practical baby care. If you are interested in hypnobirthing, does the course include hypnobirthing or maybe you prefer a stand-alone hypnobirthing course.

Can partners come along too, or is the course for birthing parents only? Which format would you prefer?

5. Practical things to consider

Where and when is the course held? Are the dates, time and venue convenient for you?
What is your budget? What are your options at your budget?
For an in-person course
- is there parking available or is it easily accessible via public transport?
- Is the venue clean and spacious?
- What are the chair/seating arrangements like? Do you want/need to bring a birthing ball, cushions etc.?
- Are refreshments included?
- Accessibility of the venue (where needed)

For an online course
- are you confident in using the platform the course is being offered on?
- is it a live course or has live elements or is it fully self-paced? – for live elements: are they recorded? If not can you make all the sessions?
- Is your internet connection reliable?
- Have you got a pc or laptop to access the course on? This will make your online course a more positive experience.
- Have I got a comfortable (seating) setup where I can join the online childbirth preparation course?

What type/style of childbirth preparation course you choose is entirely up to you! Use your B.R.A.I.N. acronym when choosing the right course for you:

What are the benefits, risks (or repercussion), alternatives (for each option)? Trust your gut, your intuition. And think about how you might feel if you do nothing, i.e. you don’t choose a childbirth preparation course?

If you’d like to prepare at your own pace, my fully self-paced online childbirth preparation course includes hypnobirthing, mp3s and much, much more! You can read more about the BRAIN acronym in The BRAIN Acronym for Childbirth.

Online Birth Preparation Course only £35!

hypnobirthing mp3s
hypnobirthing scripts
written information
infographics and other imagery
printable handouts
printable workbook/journal

Enrol now

Posted on October 25, 2022November 6, 2026 by Tina G — 1 Comment

Birth Partner Do’s and Don’ts

Going to be a birth partner? Here are some birth partner do’s and don’ts – well, mostly do’s. You’ll work out the don’ts from reading them!

To be a supportive, confident and well-informed birth partner, try the following:

Go to childbirth preparation classes with your partner. They’ll help you understand what’s happening and what she’s talking about – and there’s some new vocabulary to learn, too!
Be reachable by phone, especially as the due date gets closer.
Pack your own hospital or home birth bag, with a change of clothes, swimwear for the birth pool, your own drinks and snacks (please don’t eat or drink hers!) and maybe some comfy shoes or slippers.
Know how to fit the car seat, and keep it in the car.
Know the route to the hospital or birth unit, and keep the car fuelled up (or charged).
Know where her maternity notes are (or how to access them on her phone).
Agree who to tell about the birth, and when. Make a list of contact details.
Make sure your phone or camera is charged and has plenty of storage space – maybe keep a power bank in your bag!
Support your partner wherever you can, and take over tasks like shopping, cooking, laundry and cleaning so she can rest before and after the birth.
Know and understand your partner’s wishes in her birth plan, and add your own too. Even better: write it together!
If you have older children or pets, make sure you know who will look after them and how to contact them.
If this isn’t your first baby, take over looking after and entertaining the older one(s) whenever you can, to give mum a break before and after the birth.
To practise for labour and birth, offer a massage and/or a slow dance twice a week in the run-up to the birth. Then use these techniques during labour to help your partner feel more comfortable.
Practise affirmations together. You can download free affirmations here, and there are some examples below.

I hope you find these ideas useful! If you’ve been a birth partner before, share what worked for you and your partner in the comments – we’d love to know. For more ideas, see my Birth Partner Hacks.

My online birth preparation course is for birth partners, too!

hypnobirthing mp3s
hypnobirthing scripts
written information
infographics and other imagery
printable handouts
printable workbook/journal

Enroll now

Posted on July 30, 2022November 6, 2026 by Tina G — Leave a comment

How long does labour last?

How long does labour last? What is the average length of labour and birth?

In medical terms, labour is divided into three stages:

First stage – your uterus and body are getting ready. Your cervix softens and begins to open until it is fully open (dilated). This is sometimes called the “up stage”, because the sensations pull upwards.
Second stage – this begins when you feel the urge to push. It’s sometimes called the “pushing stage” or “down stage”, because the sensations push downwards. At the end of this stage, your baby is born!
Third stage – the birth of the placenta, the final stage of labour.

So, how long does labour last? According to the NHS, a first labour lasts on average 8–12 hours, and later labours are usually much quicker (around 5 hours). However, midwives only start timing from when you are in established labour – when your cervix is around 4cm dilated. The contractions and sensations you experience before then aren’t officially counted, although birthing people usually include that time when they describe their experience. From your baby dropping (lightening) to the start of established labour can take hours, or sometimes days with a first baby. Use this time to rest when you can, stay hydrated and keep your positive energy up!

Although the NHS and other healthcare providers divide labour into three stages, it isn’t always that simple. Each stage can be broken down into smaller steps, and people who have given birth or attended births often describe many more stages. Milli Hill, for example, divides birth into 15 steps in The Positive Birth Book (affiliate link).

Here is a graphic showing a timeline of childbirth:

Posted on May 30, 2022November 6, 2026 by Tina G — Leave a comment

The role of the birth partner

role of the birth partner at a caesarean birth

A birth partner wears many different ‘hats’, but the role can be as simple as being there. The key is presence: being in the moment, being the guardian of oxytocin, the birth keeper and the advocate. Your role will be led by the birthing mother or person you are supporting.

Who can be a birth partner?

A birth partner could be the baby’s father or other parent, the pregnant person’s partner, a friend, a family member, or a professional birth partner such as a doula.

What does the birth partner’s role include?

During the birth, a birth partner might:

offer massage
read hypnobirthing scripts
advocate for the birthing mother or person
give reminders to go to the loo
help keep them hydrated and energised
offer supportive words and touch
protect the birth space

Here is a great example of a birth partner advocating for the birthing woman’s options:

How can I prepare to be a birth partner?

Talk with the pregnant mother or person about their wishes and birth preferences.
Plan the route to the hospital or birth centre, and which entrance to use at different times of day and night (although Google Maps timings are pretty accurate).
Know where the birth bag is, and get familiar with what’s in it – or help pack it – so you can find things quickly.
Think of ways to time contractions without watching the clock, which can create unwanted tension. Be creative!
- I’ve seen families watch a series with roughly 30-minute episodes and count how many contractions they had per episode.
- Others made a 30- or 60-minute playlist and counted the contraction waves during it.
You may need to speak to the healthcare professionals if the person you’re supporting can’t. Knowing their birth preferences and being able to communicate their wishes and symptoms clearly really helps.
Look after your own needs too – you can only support others when you are well and comfortable. Birth can take a long time, so bring spare clothes and refreshments for yourself.
Bring a phone charger so you can contact family and friends when you need to (if that’s what you’ve agreed).
Most vending machines and car parks now accept contactless or phone payments, so you may not need loose change – but check with your chosen birth place.
Go to antenatal appointments and childbirth classes together.
Do your own research about birth, options and procedures.

For more practical ideas, see my Birth Partner Hacks.

hypnobirthing mp3s
hypnobirthing scripts
written information
infographics and other imagery
printable handouts
printable workbook/journal

Enroll now

Posted on April 6, 2022November 6, 2026 by Tina G — 5 Comments

What to pack in my hospital bag for childbirth?

Hospital Bag for Childbirth Homebirth Bag

Top tips on when, how and what to pack in your hospital bag for childbirth.

You can pack your birth bag whenever you like, but ideally have it ready at least three weeks before your due date.

If you have a birth partner, get them involved in packing the bag – that way they’ll know where everything is on the day!

Use one large bag or suitcase for your ‘overnight stuff’, then pack three smaller bags to go inside it: one for you, one for your baby and one for your birth partner.

Hospital bag or home birth bag for childbirth — Top tip: pack smaller bags inside one larger bag or suitcase!

Bag for mum/birthing person

Your birth plan and maternity notes
A comfy, loose-fitting dressing gown
Nighties (ideally ones that open at the front for breastfeeding)
Comfy, loose clothes – baggy joggers, a zip-up hoodie, and tops that undo at the front for skin-to-skin and feeding
Slippers you can slide your feet into – if you have a caesarean birth, bending over is tricky
Socks – many people get cold feet during labour
Slip-on shoes
Flip-flops for the shower
Hand sanitiser
Wash bag, including shower gel with a hook (so you don’t have to bend down in the shower) and hand cream (frequent hand gel makes hands sore)
Lip balm – hospital air is dry
High-waisted, “Bridget Jones” cotton knickers in case you have a caesarean birth – dark colours are best, a couple of sizes up from your usual
Arnica and/or witch hazel for piles and bruising
Maternity pads (several packs)
Nursing bras
A large pack of breast pads, or washable ones, for any leaks
Your own pillow and/or pillowcase
A towel – hospital ones are scratchy
Eye mask (it’s never dark!)
Earplugs (it’s never quiet!)
Hairbands
Headphones
Your phone with a labour playlist downloaded (you can usually take your phone into theatre and play music via Bluetooth)
A small tripod to prop up your phone or camera
Phone charger and power bank
Snacks – if you’re having a caesarean birth, dried apricots or prunes can ease constipation, as you may not have a bowel movement for several days
Peppermint tea bags – after a caesarean birth, they can help ease trapped wind caused by the operation
A sports drink
Books, magazines or puzzles – in case you need to stay in hospital before or after the birth
Tissues for all the happy tears
A photo of your partner for times they can’t be with you, or something they’ve given you, such as love notes
Photos of older children and pets

Bag for baby

Muslins
Nappies – newborn size 1 fits most babies, and newborns can go through about 12 nappies a day
Cotton wool pads or balls
Baby clothes – at least vests, sleepsuits, cardigans and a hat, including a going-home outfit
Baby blankets (cotton, cellular or wool)

Bag for your birth partner

A change of clothes
Snacks
Phone, charger and power bank
Change for vending machines (hospital shops may have limited opening hours) and the car park
A list of people to call or message with the news
The car seat to take your baby home – practise fitting it in the car beforehand!

I hope you find this list useful! If you have anything to add, please get in touch and I’ll add it to the list.

Posted on April 5, 2022November 6, 2026 by Tina G — 2 Comments

Birth Partner Hacks

Here are five simple hacks every birth partner should know about!

Are you a birth partner who isn’t sure where to start when it comes to supporting the birthing mother or person? Would you like to know more about how to help during labour and birth?

Here are some Birth Partner Hacks to get you started!

💜 The Hip Squeeze – a favourite of many birthing mothers/people

Apply firm, steady pressure to both hips during contractions, leaning your weight in towards the birthing person.

💜 Figure of 8 ball sit – some gentle movement

During surges, the birthing mother/person sits on an exercise/birth ball and moves their hips in a figure of eight pattern while leaning forward over the back of a chair.

💜 The slow dance – more gentle movement

Have a slow dance together, with the birthing person’s hips swaying from side to side. This can help you both find a rhythm in labour.

💜 Shake the apple tree – relaxes pelvic floor area

Place both hands on one of the birthing person’s thighs and gently shake it, then repeat on the other thigh. This can help relax and release the pelvic floor to support the birth.

💜 Effleurage – light/gentle touch to engage the parasympathetic nervous system

Effleurage means “light, gliding touch”. Use both hands to gently sweep over the birthing person’s body. This helps to engage the parasympathetic (rest and relax) nervous system.

Want more ideas? Have a look at my Birth Partner Do’s and Don’ts and The role of the birth partner.