Tag: new baby

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Affirmations for new parents

What are affirmations? And how can they help new parents?

Affirmations, aka positive affirmations, are phrases that you repeat to yourself over and over again to change your mindset. You can say them out loud our in your head. Receive them as part of treatment with your hypnotherapist or other therapist. Most commonly they help you to change a negative into a positive thought or negative into positive thinking.

Affirmations can help you feel more in control and empowered during your experience as a new parent and also when nursing your new baby!

Affirmations can improve your ability to problem-solve and decision-making while under stress such as sleep deprivation or peer pressure. Making the right decisions for you and your baby enables you to feel empowered while being the good enough parent for your baby.

You can download all my affirmations for new parents for free here.

Here are some videos you can loop if you like for when you are nursing your baby:

Using affirmations can really help new parents to focus on what they can control and let go of what is outside of their control.

Create a bubble of calm, confidence and control. Set aside a few minutes every day to focus on yourself and your bond with your baby. Imagine, that you and your baby are inside a bubble, your safe space. Leave all the daily chores, visitors, etc. outside that bubble. It’s just you and your baby. Focus on your breathing. Use a calm breathing technique which suits you. You can use the moving circle in gif below if you like. For that designated time, it is just you and your baby. In a safe space, focusing on your bond.

Circle of calm, confidence and control – a technique for new parents

Alternatively, you may also focus on your positive parenting affirmations while you are inside your bubble of calm, confidence and control.

Practice your affirmations daily. You’ll feel better for it. Look after yourself and your mental health. Making time for yourself and your baby will strengthen your bond, improve your mental wellbeing and may also improve postpartum healing.

Having a baby means that your time for yourself, for you as a couple and time with friends and family will have to be divided differently. You have to find a new balance which works for you and your family. Both mothers and fathers benefit from bonding with their baby and taking care of themselves. Your family benefits from parents allowing time and space for themselves, as a family together as well as parents as a couple.

Have a look at the images below. Each circle represents an person. The larger ones (grey and blue) are the parents and the smaller one is the baby (lilac). Where the circles overlap is how much time they spend together. There may be very little or no couple time possible unless you get some help such as a postpartum doula or babysitters… One parent may spend more time with the baby than the other. The time where there is no overlap with a person, is the time you’ll have to divide between chores, you-time, work, family and friends, pets, hobbies etc. The process of re-balancing your personal time to a balance that works for you and your family, may take some time. Give it time. Use some time every day with positive affirmations to help you re-balance your time and life.

Sources and further reading

  • F, H. R., Supriyana, S., & Runjati, R. (2021). Self-Empowerment, Affirmation And Relaxation Training Against Stress Levels And Cortisol Levels In Pregnant Women: Systematic Literature Review. STRADA Jurnal Ilmiah Kesehatan, 10(1), 335–343. https://doi.org/10.30994/sjik.v10i1.636
  • Hill Zoelene, Spiegel Michelle, Gennetian Lisa A., Pride-Based Self-Affirmations and Parenting Programs, Frontiers in Psychology, Vol. 11, 2020, https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00910/full
  • Sari, R. P., Vivi Silawati and Putri Azzahroh (2022) “The Effectiveness of Positive Affirmations Combination of Face Acupressure and Aromatherapy Against Anxiety in Preoperative Sectio Cesarean Patients At Sentosa Hospital Bogor”, Science Midwifery, 10(3), pp. 2164-2170. doi: 10.35335/midwifery.v10i3.629.
  • Wiesenfeld, B.M., Brockner, J., Petzall, B., Wolf, R., & Bailey J. (2001). Stress and coping among layoff survivors: A self-affirmation analysis. Anxiety, Stress and Coping: An International Journal, 14, 15–34.
  • Worthman C.M., Plotsky, P.M., Schechter, D.S., & Cummings, C.A. (editors). (2010). Formative Experiences: The Interaction of Caregiving, Culture, and Developmental Psychobiology. New York: Cambridge Univ. Press

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Pregnant again

pregnant again

Congratulations! Being pregnant again is especially challenging when the next older child is still very young. Having a toddler and being pregnant can be very hard work! You are of course tired because you’re pregnant but also, you cannot nap in the day as easily. The best thing for you and your family in this situation is to accept help. If you are lucky enough to have family or friends offering to look after  the older one(s), take it! If your older one(s) is/are in school or nursery, rest when you have some time to yourself.

When and how are you going to tell your older child or children?
Well, everyone is different. Some parents tell their children as soon as they know, others like to wait longer. There is no right or wrong. Sometimes it depends on the age of the older ones. If you have a toddler to explain the situation to, it might be a good idea to get a baby doll for them. They can then explore how to treat a baby and get used to the idea of having a baby around.
There are some things you can do to prepare yourself and your toddler or child for the new arrival:

  • If you are thinking of moving older siblings to new rooms, it may be easier for them if you do it before the new baby arrives. They may be less jealous if your new baby was not the most obvious reason. Maybe saying you are moving to a big-boy/girl-room now…
  • A new baby could give older siblings (especially if they are very young) a present to start off on a good note 🙂
  • Maybe you’d like the older sibling(s) to get involved in packing your birth bag?!
  • Think about who would be able to look after older siblings, while you are pregnant and need a rest, when you give birth and for the early days
  • Only because you feel like you don’t give your second child as much attention as you did your first one, that does not mean that you are less attached to one or the other.
  • It is okay to sometimes use the TV or other electronic devices to keep the older child or children occupied while you are resting and once your new baby is born 🙂
  • Eat healthily and get plenty of fresh air and sunlight that will help with the tiredness, while you have to limit your caffeine intake.
  • Look after yourself and remember to take folic acid from the time you start trying to conceive and until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy.
  • Practice your breathing and relaxation techniques for labour and birth daily.
  • Try to gently exercise / go for a walk regularly; this will keep your energy levels up!
  • Maybe you’d like to watch some birth videos with the older sibling(s). I suggest that you watch them by yourself first and then choose one or two to watch together. I have created a library of birth videos. There is even a section of other mammals giving birth!
  • You can also book a private 1:1 antenatal session with me for you to prepare yourself and your partner for the birth. In addition to that, I have my lovely Mamamor dolls, which I can use to demonstrate vaginal as well as caesarean birth to children or adults (see demo videos below).

If you are pregnant again and your previous birth was traumatic, it may be beneficial to speak to a doula or perinatal educator who is trauma informed. A non-jugemental approach to your new pregnancy and birth experience to help you to achieve a positive birth experience this time round. My wonderful colleague Sheryl (@simplynatal) calls it your Healing Birth.

You’ve got this!!