What are affirmations, and how can they help new parents?
Affirmations (or positive affirmations) are phrases you repeat to yourself again and again to change your mindset. You can say them out loud or in your head, or hear them as part of a session with a hypnotherapist or other therapist. Most commonly, they help you turn negative thoughts into positive ones.
Affirmations can help you feel more in control and empowered as a new parent – including while feeding your baby!
Affirmations can improve your ability to solve problems and make decisions under stress, such as sleep deprivation or pressure from others. Making the right decisions for you and your baby helps you feel empowered as a ‘good enough’ parent.
Here are some videos you can loop while feeding your baby:
Affirmations can really help new parents focus on what they can control and let go of what they can’t.
Your bubble of calm, confidence and control
Set aside a few minutes every day to focus on yourself and your bond with your baby. Imagine that you and your baby are inside a bubble – your safe space. Leave the chores, visitors and everything else outside. It’s just you and your baby. Focus on your breathing, using a calm breathing technique that suits you – you can follow the moving circle in the gif below if you like. For that time, it’s just the two of you, in a safe space, focusing on your bond.
You could also focus on positive parenting affirmations while you’re in your bubble.
Practise your affirmations daily – you’ll feel better for it. Look after yourself and your mental health. Making time for yourself and your baby strengthens your bond, improves your mental wellbeing and may even help your postnatal healing.
Finding a new balance
Having a baby means your time for yourself, for each other as a couple, and with friends and family has to be divided differently. You’ll need to find a new balance that works for your family. Mothers and fathers both benefit from bonding with their baby and taking care of themselves – and the whole family benefits when parents make time and space for themselves, for the family together, and for each other as a couple.
Have a look at the images below. Each circle represents a person: the larger ones (grey and blue) are the parents, and the smaller lilac one is the baby. Where the circles overlap shows how much time they spend together. There may be very little couple time unless you get some help, such as a postnatal doula or a babysitter, and one parent may spend more time with the baby than the other. The parts that don’t overlap are the time you divide between chores, ‘me time’, work, family and friends, pets, hobbies and so on. Finding a balance that works for you can take a while, so give it time – and use a few minutes each day with positive affirmations to help you rebalance.
See also: The emotional rollercoaster of parenthood and Top 9 Childbirth Affirmations.
Sources and further reading
- F, H. R., Supriyana, S., & Runjati, R. (2021). Self-Empowerment, Affirmation And Relaxation Training Against Stress Levels And Cortisol Levels In Pregnant Women: Systematic Literature Review. STRADA Jurnal Ilmiah Kesehatan, 10(1), 335–343. https://doi.org/10.30994/sjik.v10i1.636
- Hill, Z., Spiegel, M. and Gennetian, L. A. (2020). Pride-Based Self-Affirmations and Parenting Programs. Frontiers in Psychology, 11. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00910/full
- Sari, R. P., Silawati, V. and Azzahroh, P. (2022). The Effectiveness of Positive Affirmations Combination of Face Acupressure and Aromatherapy Against Anxiety in Preoperative Sectio Cesarean Patients At Sentosa Hospital Bogor. Science Midwifery, 10(3), pp. 2164–2170. doi: 10.35335/midwifery.v10i3.629.
- Wiesenfeld, B.M., Brockner, J., Petzall, B., Wolf, R., & Bailey, J. (2001). Stress and coping among layoff survivors: A self-affirmation analysis. Anxiety, Stress and Coping: An International Journal, 14, 15–34.
- Worthman, C.M., Plotsky, P.M., Schechter, D.S., & Cummings, C.A. (eds). (2010). Formative Experiences: The Interaction of Caregiving, Culture, and Developmental Psychobiology. New York: Cambridge University Press.