Congratulations! Being pregnant again can be especially challenging when your older child is still very young. Being pregnant with a toddler in tow is hard work! You’re tired because you’re pregnant, but you can’t nap during the day as easily. The best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to accept help. If family or friends offer to look after your older child or children, say yes! If your older ones are at school or nursery, rest when you have some time to yourself.
When and how will you tell your older child or children? Everyone is different. Some parents tell their children as soon as they know; others prefer to wait. There is no right or wrong, and it often depends on how old your children are. If you have a toddler, a baby doll can be a great way for them to explore how to treat a baby and get used to the idea of having one around.
Here are some things you can do to prepare yourself and your child for the new arrival:
- If you’re planning to move an older sibling to a new room, it may be easier to do it well before the new baby arrives, so the baby isn’t the obvious reason. You could talk about moving to a “big boy” or “big girl” room.
- The new baby could “give” their older sibling a present, to start things off on a good note 🙂
- Get your older child involved in packing your birth bag.
- Think about who could look after your older children while you’re pregnant and need a rest, while you’re giving birth, and in the early days.
- You may feel you can’t give your second child as much attention as you gave your first. That doesn’t mean you love either of them any less.
- It’s okay to sometimes use the TV or a tablet to keep your older children busy while you rest, and once your new baby is born 🙂
- Eat well and get plenty of fresh air and daylight to help with tiredness – especially as you need to limit your caffeine.
- Look after yourself, and remember to take folic acid from when you start trying to conceive until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy.
- Practise your breathing and relaxation techniques for labour and birth every day.
- Try to exercise gently or go for a walk regularly – it will help keep your energy levels up!
- You could watch some positive birth videos with your older children. I suggest watching them on your own first, then choosing one or two to watch together. My library even has a section of other mammals giving birth!
- MamAmor dolls are a lovely way to show children (or adults!) how babies are born, both vaginally and by caesarean – see the demo videos below.
If your previous birth was traumatic, it may help to speak to a trauma-informed doula or perinatal educator. A non-judgemental approach to your new pregnancy can help you work towards a positive birth experience this time round. My wonderful colleague Sheryl (@simplynatal) calls it your Healing Birth.
You’ve got this!!