Tag: subsequent pregnancy

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Bonding with your baby in pregnancy

Bonding with your baby in pregnancy

Bonding with your baby can begin in pregnancy, while your baby is still growing in the womb. It is a perfect time to start the bonding process during pregnancy. Attachment is very important for your babies development when they are born.

What can babies experience in the womb?

Sound

From around 18 weeks of pregnancy your baby will begin to experience sounds. They can hear all the gurgling noises inside your body as well as your heartbeat. They still find your/a heartbeat comforting and familiar after they are born! From around 26 weeks of pregnancy, your baby may start reacting to sounds from outside. You can start playing music to them or your partner could read them a story! This is a great way to start bonding with your baby when you are not the pregnant parent! Your baby will recognise their parents’ voices (and any other people you live with or spend a lot of time with) when they are born. As well as remembering certain sounds from their mother’s language, babies may remember certain music played to them in the womb.

Sight

Your baby will open their eyes around 22 weeks of pregnancy and will be able to recognize light. However their sight will continue to develop after they are born.

Smell & Taste

Your baby can take in smells and tastes via the amniotic fluid. Your baby’s taste buds are mature from as early as 13 weeks of pregnancy! Their sense of smell will start working around 16 weeks of pregnancy.

Touch

Around 18 weeks, your baby likes to sleep in the womb while their you are awake, as your movement may rock them to sleep. They develop the sensation of pain around 22 weeks, and at 26 weeks they may move in response to a hand being rubbed on your belly.

Language development

From about 32 weeks of pregnancy, your baby may start to recognise certain vowel sounds from your language. Some research suggests that very early language development may begin before birth.

How to start bonding with your baby during pregnancy

Some ideas to help you to start the bonding process with your baby during pregnancy:

  • Talk and sing to your baby, knowing they can hear you. – Top tip: Use a cardboard tube, point it at the mother’s belly and talk through it to read a story or sing to your baby to slightly amplify your voice.
  • Relax, look after yourself and try not to stress. Evidence shows that if a mother feels calm and relaxed during her pregnancy, the health outcome for your baby is better. Your partner or a close friend may be helpful if you need someone to talk to.
  • Gently rub or massage your belly and press against your baby’s kicks to respond to them.
  • Play music to your baby. Some mothers like to place headphones on their belly. Choose calming music such as lullabies or music that mimics a heartbeat (around 60 beats per minute).

Bonding for fathers, dads, partners, non-pregnant mothers and parents

  • Massage the bump if the pregnant mother or person is happy for you to do so.
  • Feel the baby kicking as often as you can.
  • Attend antenatal appointments and antenatal classes together to prepare for the birth and life with your baby.
  • If you’re planning to be a birth partner, go to the prenatal classes such as hypnobirthing, as well. It is important that you both explore and understand your options so that you can make informed decisions during the birth.
  • Read a story to your baby in the bump, so they get used to your voice.

Bonding with baby for older siblings

By preparing your toddler or child for the upcoming birth, you can help them to bond with the baby. Have a look at my other post ‘Pregnant again’ for some tips for siblings!

Although you may not fall in love with your baby as soon as they are born, starting the bonding process during pregnancy can help your baby to bond with you. Your love for them and bond with them may appear later, once you got to know them a bit better.

References

Schaal B et al. Human foetuses learn odours from their pregnant mother’s diet. Chem Senses 2000;25:729-37.

Lecanuet JP, Schaal B. Fetal sensory competencies. Eur J Obstet Gynecol Reprod Biol 1996;68:1-2.

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Pregnant again

pregnant again

Congratulations! Being pregnant again is especially challenging when the next older child is still very young. Having a toddler and being pregnant can be very hard work! You are of course tired because you’re pregnant but also, you cannot nap in the day as easily. The best thing for you and your family in this situation is to accept help. If you are lucky enough to have family or friends offering to look after  the older one(s), take it! If your older one(s) is/are in school or nursery, rest when you have some time to yourself.

When and how are you going to tell your older child or children?
Well, everyone is different. Some parents tell their children as soon as they know, others like to wait longer. There is no right or wrong. Sometimes it depends on the age of the older ones. If you have a toddler to explain the situation to, it might be a good idea to get a baby doll for them. They can then explore how to treat a baby and get used to the idea of having a baby around.
There are some things you can do to prepare yourself and your toddler or child for the new arrival:

  • If you are thinking of moving older siblings to new rooms, it may be easier for them if you do it before the new baby arrives. They may be less jealous if your new baby was not the most obvious reason. Maybe saying you are moving to a big-boy/girl-room now…
  • A new baby could give older siblings (especially if they are very young) a present to start off on a good note 🙂
  • Maybe you’d like the older sibling(s) to get involved in packing your birth bag?!
  • Think about who would be able to look after older siblings, while you are pregnant and need a rest, when you give birth and for the early days
  • Only because you feel like you don’t give your second child as much attention as you did your first one, that does not mean that you are less attached to one or the other.
  • It is okay to sometimes use the TV or other electronic devices to keep the older child or children occupied while you are resting and once your new baby is born 🙂
  • Eat healthily and get plenty of fresh air and sunlight that will help with the tiredness, while you have to limit your caffeine intake.
  • Look after yourself and remember to take folic acid from the time you start trying to conceive and until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy.
  • Practice your breathing and relaxation techniques for labour and birth daily.
  • Try to gently exercise / go for a walk regularly; this will keep your energy levels up!
  • Maybe you’d like to watch some birth videos with the older sibling(s). I suggest that you watch them by yourself first and then choose one or two to watch together. I have created a library of birth videos. There is even a section of other mammals giving birth!
  • You can also book a private 1:1 antenatal session with me for you to prepare yourself and your partner for the birth. In addition to that, I have my lovely Mamamor dolls, which I can use to demonstrate vaginal as well as caesarean birth to children or adults (see demo videos below).

If you are pregnant again and your previous birth was traumatic, it may be beneficial to speak to a doula or perinatal educator who is trauma informed. A non-jugemental approach to your new pregnancy and birth experience to help you to achieve a positive birth experience this time round. My wonderful colleague Sheryl (@simplynatal) calls it your Healing Birth.

You’ve got this!!