Month: May 2022

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The role of the birth partner

role of the birth partner at a caesarean birth

A birth partner wears many different ‘hats’, but the role can be as simple as being there. The key is presence: being in the moment, being the guardian of oxytocin, the birth keeper and the advocate. Your role will be led by the birthing mother or person you are supporting.

Who can be a birth partner?

A birth partner could be the baby’s father or other parent, the pregnant person’s partner, a friend, a family member, or a professional birth partner such as a doula.

What does the birth partner’s role include?

During the birth, a birth partner might:

  • offer massage
  • read hypnobirthing scripts
  • advocate for the birthing mother or person
  • give reminders to go to the loo
  • help keep them hydrated and energised
  • offer supportive words and touch
  • protect the birth space

Here is a great example of a birth partner advocating for the birthing woman’s options:

How can I prepare to be a birth partner?

  • Talk with the pregnant mother or person about their wishes and birth preferences.
  • Plan the route to the hospital or birth centre, and which entrance to use at different times of day and night (although Google Maps timings are pretty accurate).
  • Know where the birth bag is, and get familiar with what’s in it – or help pack it – so you can find things quickly.
  • Think of ways to time contractions without watching the clock, which can create unwanted tension. Be creative!
    • I’ve seen families watch a series with roughly 30-minute episodes and count how many contractions they had per episode.
    • Others made a 30- or 60-minute playlist and counted the contraction waves during it.
  • You may need to speak to the healthcare professionals if the person you’re supporting can’t. Knowing their birth preferences and being able to communicate their wishes and symptoms clearly really helps.
  • Look after your own needs too – you can only support others when you are well and comfortable. Birth can take a long time, so bring spare clothes and refreshments for yourself.
  • Bring a phone charger so you can contact family and friends when you need to (if that’s what you’ve agreed).
  • Most vending machines and car parks now accept contactless or phone payments, so you may not need loose change – but check with your chosen birth place.
  • Go to antenatal appointments and childbirth classes together.
  • Do your own research about birth, options and procedures.

For more practical ideas, see my Birth Partner Hacks.

Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:

  • hypnobirthing mp3s
  • hypnobirthing scripts
  • written information
  • infographics and other imagery
  • printable handouts
  • printable workbook/journal
Enroll now
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Your Birth Plan

Your birth plan – or better, your birth preferences – can be an important part of your journey into parenthood.

You may have heard people say their birth plan went out of the window, or that it isn’t worth writing one. In my opinion, as a doula and mother of four, it is worth thinking about your birth preferences (rather than a “plan”). Whether you put them in writing is up to you, but sharing and discussing your preferences, thoughts and feelings about the birth with your birth partner(s) is important.

Positive birth affirmations
Information is power – write down your birth preferences!

You can make it as detailed as you like, but the more detail you include, the less realistic your expectations may become. So focus on your top four or five preferences – things you are likely to be able to control.

You may wish to consider:

  • Your birth place – where would you like to give birth?
  • The birth environment
    • Who will be there (birth partner(s), doula…)?
    • Which home comforts would you like (music, a blanket, a cushion…)?
    • What will the lighting be like?
    • Will there be music?
  • Type of birth
    • Vaginal
    • Caesarean
    • Induction
    • In water or out of water
  • Your religion, beliefs and traditions
  • Your medical history and your individual options
  • Your preferences for medical pain relief, for example:
    • “I don’t want any”
    • “Let me know when I can have an epidural”
    • “I would like X but would like to avoid Y”
  • Vaginal examinations and touch: you can decline any vaginal examination, or any other form of physical touch, at any point – and you can change your mind at any time. Many people are happy to have vaginal examinations, and consenting to them can help your midwife support you.

The NHS website has a very detailed birth plan template. It’s a useful checklist to make sure you’ve considered all your options, even if you don’t use it as your actual birth preferences.

It can help to think through your birth in order:

  • Early labour / at home
  • Active labour / on the way to hospital / while waiting for the midwives to arrive
  • Established labour / at your birth place under midwifery care
    • Transition
  • Second stage / pushing
  • Third stage / the placenta
    • The golden hour with your baby

If any of your preferences don’t align with your healthcare provider’s recommendations, discuss them before the day, not on the day. A doula can also help you explore your preferences and make sure you have good, evidence-based information. You might also like my post on using the Circle of Control to write your birth plan.

Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:

  • hypnobirthing mp3s
  • hypnobirthing scripts
  • written information
  • infographics and other imagery
  • printable handouts
  • printable workbook/journal
Enroll now

Some sources of good evidence-based information:

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What is a gentle Caesarean Birth?

What is a gentle caesarean birth, and why should expectant parents know about it?

A gentle caesarean mimics some of the natural processes of a vaginal birth:

  • A drug to encourage uterine contractions can be given, so that your baby is gently ‘pushed’ out by your uterus rather than pulled out by the obstetrician.
  • A better view of the birth: you can ask for clear drapes, or for the drapes to be lowered, so you can see your baby being born.
  • Immediate skin-to-skin contact (most NHS trusts offer and encourage this for every birth, if your baby is well).
  • Optimal (delayed) cord clamping – waiting until the umbilical cord stops pulsating.
  • Less restrictive equipment: your IV line can go in your non-dominant hand, leaving your dominant hand free to hold your baby, and the ECG leads can be placed on your back or lower chest so they don’t get in the way of skin-to-skin (most NHS trusts offer this for any caesarean birth).
  • Dimmer lighting, especially at the moment of birth (offered by most NHS trusts).
  • Less noise, and background music of your choice (offered by most NHS trusts).
A gentle caesarean at Nottingham City Hospital. Note: because it shows some graphic content, the video is age-restricted, so you’ll need to log in to YouTube and watch it there.

A gentle caesarean can feel less like major abdominal surgery and more like a vaginal birth. However, while it is gentler for the baby, recovery for the mother is the same – it is still major abdominal surgery.

Who is in the theatre during a gentle caesarean birth?

As you can see in the video above, there are usually quite a few people in the room, and they will all introduce themselves with their name and role. The video below shows one example of how an operating theatre might be set up.

Whether you’re planning a caesarean birth from the start, or something has come up during pregnancy that makes a caesarean the safest option, it’s worth exploring your options. What choices do you have? Which parts of your birth can you control? For more ideas, read 7 ways to personalise your caesarean birth.