Tag: birth trauma

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Birth Trauma is real!

Your birth trauma is real. Sadly, we live in a country (UK) where the maternity system is broken. Induction, Caesarean birth and assisted birth rates are rising, and so is the number of parents who are experiencing birth trauma.

What is Birth Trauma or postnatal PTSD?

There are four main symptoms:

  • Avoiding anything or anyone that reminds you of the trauma. This could be avoiding other parents with babies, or going to or driving/walking past the place you gave birth.
  • Re-experiencing the traumatic event through nightmares, flashbacks or intrusive memories which make you feel panicky or distressed.
  • Feeling hypervigilant which means that you are constantly alert, jumpy and irritable. You are worried that something bad may happen to your baby.
  • Feeling low and unhappy. Or maybe feeling guilty and blame yourself for your traumatic birth experience. You may also have difficulty remembering parts of your birth experience.

Not everyone who has had a traumatic experience suffers from PTSD. Whenever we experiencing a trauma, PTSD is a common response. It is involuntary, you cannot help it. It cannot be cured by “snapping out of it” or “focusing on the positive”.

Maybe you are reading this because your birth trauma is preventing you (and/or your partner) from trying for another baby? Or are you reading this because some people tell you to “snap out of it”? Or maybe, you cannot sleep or feel you cannot love your baby because of your traumatic birth experience?

You are not alone! Your birth trauma is real. Research shows that about 4-5% of women/parents who give birth develop PTSD. Fathers and partners can develop PTSD as a result of witnessing a traumatic birth, too.

How can you help yourself and others to overcome birth trauma?

Have a look at the Birth Trauma Association (BTA) there are many examples on where and how to get help, including their support group or getting psychological help. Talk to professionals such as

  • Your GP
  • Your midwife
  • Your health visitor
  • A counsellor

Or talk to non-professionals such as

There may be families in your area who have experienced birth trauma, too and are happy to talk to you about your and their experience. The BTA has a forum where you can ask for local volunteers or peers.

Another wonderfully supportive option is Sheryl aka The Healing Birth Doula. If you are lucky enough to be local to her, then you can access her in-person support and learning. However, she also offers online learning including an online course.

Pregnant again after birth trauma?

If you are here because you are pregnant again after experiencing birth trauma, here are some suggestions on how to help you enjoy your pregnancy and start to look forward to the birth of your baby.

Although there is no “quick fix” for you there are plenty of options. It is important that you talk to someone. Maybe a doula or hypnobirthing practitioner would be the most helpful. They can work with you on what happened during your previous birth, help you get closure to be then ready to move on and plan this new birth experience.

To access a practitioners who is trained in the 3-step-rewind technique can also help you heal.

In short,

  • work through previous birth (3-step-rewind technique)
  • acknowledge it is in the past
  • find closure for the previuos birth
  • acknowledge this is a completely new baby and new experience
  • start writing down your birth preferences and what if ideas
  • start to look forward to your new birth experience

Your steps towards an empowered or dream birth experience are shown in the image below.

My online course to help you prepare for the birth of your baby!

Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:

  • hypnobirthing mp3s
  • hypnobirthing scripts
  • written information
  • infographics and other imagery
  • printable handouts
  • printable workbook/journal
Enroll now
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Pregnant again

pregnant again

Congratulations! Being pregnant again is especially challenging when the next older child is still very young. Having a toddler and being pregnant can be very hard work! You are of course tired because you’re pregnant but also, you cannot nap in the day as easily. The best thing for you and your family in this situation is to accept help. If you are lucky enough to have family or friends offering to look after  the older one(s), take it! If your older one(s) is/are in school or nursery, rest when you have some time to yourself.

When and how are you going to tell your older child or children?
Well, everyone is different. Some parents tell their children as soon as they know, others like to wait longer. There is no right or wrong. Sometimes it depends on the age of the older ones. If you have a toddler to explain the situation to, it might be a good idea to get a baby doll for them. They can then explore how to treat a baby and get used to the idea of having a baby around.
There are some things you can do to prepare yourself and your toddler or child for the new arrival:

  • If you are thinking of moving older siblings to new rooms, it may be easier for them if you do it before the new baby arrives. They may be less jealous if your new baby was not the most obvious reason. Maybe saying you are moving to a big-boy/girl-room now…
  • A new baby could give older siblings (especially if they are very young) a present to start off on a good note 🙂
  • Maybe you’d like the older sibling(s) to get involved in packing your birth bag?!
  • Think about who would be able to look after older siblings, while you are pregnant and need a rest, when you give birth and for the early days
  • Only because you feel like you don’t give your second child as much attention as you did your first one, that does not mean that you are less attached to one or the other.
  • It is okay to sometimes use the TV or other electronic devices to keep the older child or children occupied while you are resting and once your new baby is born 🙂
  • Eat healthily and get plenty of fresh air and sunlight that will help with the tiredness, while you have to limit your caffeine intake.
  • Look after yourself and remember to take folic acid from the time you start trying to conceive and until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy.
  • Practice your breathing and relaxation techniques for labour and birth daily.
  • Try to gently exercise / go for a walk regularly; this will keep your energy levels up!
  • Maybe you’d like to watch some birth videos with the older sibling(s). I suggest that you watch them by yourself first and then choose one or two to watch together. I have created a library of birth videos. There is even a section of other mammals giving birth!
  • You can also book a private 1:1 antenatal session with me for you to prepare yourself and your partner for the birth. In addition to that, I have my lovely Mamamor dolls, which I can use to demonstrate vaginal as well as caesarean birth to children or adults (see demo videos below).

If you are pregnant again and your previous birth was traumatic, it may be beneficial to speak to a doula or perinatal educator who is trauma informed. A non-jugemental approach to your new pregnancy and birth experience to help you to achieve a positive birth experience this time round. My wonderful colleague Sheryl (@simplynatal) calls it your Healing Birth.

You’ve got this!!