What is ⚡️lightning crotch⚡️ (or 🗡️fanny daggers🗡️), and how can you avoid it? Here are three tips.
Have you ever had a sudden, sharp, stabbing sensation in your vulva or vagina during pregnancy? That’s lightning crotch!
Your pubic symphysis is the joint where your two pelvic bones meet at the front – that’s number 3 in the image below:
This is where the stabbing sensation happens. It’s aggravated by simple movements such as walking, standing on one leg, rolling over in bed and getting out of the car.
3 tips to avoid lightning crotch
✅ Sit down to put on your trousers or leggings.
✅ Keep your knees together when rolling over in bed.
✅ When getting out of the car, swing both legs round together, then stand up.
If the pain is severe or doesn’t go away, mention it to your midwife – it could be pelvic girdle pain, which a physiotherapist can help with.
For more pregnancy and childbirth comfort measures and top tips, try my self-paced online course – evidence-based information, top tips, hacks, real-life stories and much more!
Online Birth Preparation Course only £35!
Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:
To mark Safer Sleep Week, here are my ideas for teaching expectant parents about safer sleep for their newborn babies.
Greater awareness of safer sleep leads to fewer babies dying.
Sadly, around 210 babies still die from sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in the UK every year – about four a week (The Lullaby Trust). If every parent knew the safer sleep advice and practices, many lives could be saved. For the most up-to-date research and recommendations, I point parents to The Lullaby Trust and BASIS.
How can you build safer sleep into your classes?
Many parents are worried or unsure about clothing layers and safer sleep, so I usually start with my “Dressing your baby” activity. Each family has a baby doll or makes their own towel baby. I spread out a selection of baby clothes and accessories on a table or the floor (or, when social distancing was needed, I gave each family a washbag) containing:
a sleepsuit/babygrow
a long-sleeved vest
short-sleeved vests
scratch mittens
a hat
socks/booties
a cardigan
a blanket
Each family then gets a random weather/temperature scenario card. They discuss the scenario, choose a suitable outfit and dress their doll. Then each family presents their choices and explains how they decided. This usually leads into a discussion about layers, overheating, and how to tell if a baby is too hot or cold (and why hats aren’t worn for sleep indoors). I hand out my baby clothing layers guide, and my Dressing your baby paper doll activity works well too.
Next, we discuss sleeping arrangements and what might be practical for each family, using my size comparison chart.
After that, we look at The Lullaby Trust’s safer sleep advice and put our babies safely to bed (I use a sheet of flipchart paper to represent the cot mattress). If I have the equipment at the venue, I show this video before parents put their doll to bed:
I have also used The Lullaby Trust’s free “Make a room” and “Spot the risks” activities. However, I’ve stopped using them because I now focus on reinforcing safe, positive practice, so I’ve removed images showing less safe or unsafe set-ups. This approach comes from my hypnobirthing practice and my early years work with “Empowering Parents, Empowering Communities” (EPEC). I’ve also updated all my true-or-false quizzes so they only contain true statements, to reinforce the right messages.
Teaching about safer sleep online
Online, I use a digital version of the dressing your baby activity. Each family goes into their own Zoom breakout room and works on their own Google Slide (breakout room 1 on slide 1, and so on). Each slide has a different scenario as the background, and families drag the clothes onto the baby.
For the other tasks, I ask families to bring along some baby clothes if they have any, or simply describe how and where their baby would sleep most safely.
Onset of labour: activity ideas for antenatal teachers, midwives, doulas and other birth workers.
It’s safe to say almost every expectant parent wonders about the start of labour:
How will we know?
When do we go to the hospital?
When do we call the midwife?
When do I call my partner?
What does it feel like?
Over my years as an antenatal teacher, doula and facilitator, I observed many other practitioners, attended antenatal classes during my own pregnancies, and read lots of books and blogs. Along the way, I adapted and developed a number of activities to cover the onset of labour in group and 1:1 sessions.
When I started out as an antenatal teacher, I used an activity from Mary Nolan’s book Antenatal Education: A Dynamic Approach to explore the onset of labour.
In this activity, each group or couple gets a set of cards with ‘symptoms’ on them, such as ’41 weeks pregnant’, ‘strong regular contractions’, ‘lower back pain’, ‘waters break with a gush’ and ‘mild irregular contractions’. Each group shuffles their cards, holds them face down, and turns them over one at a time, lining them up. When they decide “we’re in labour!”, they stop turning cards.
While this works well in training sessions with fellow antenatal educators, I found that couples struggled with the concept and mostly sorted the cards into ‘labour’ and ‘not labour’ instead. (Maybe that was down to my explanation – who knows?) These days, my Ready to Pop?! signs and onset of labour activity is a fun, ready-made alternative.
For my own 1:1 and group sessions, I moved to a labour timeline approach, using both my labour timeline banner and a labour beadline. First, we brainstorm possible signs of labour and warning signs (in two groups, depending on group size) and discuss them together. Then I reveal the timeline bit by bit.
Labour timeline banner
Labour beadline
Focusing on the onset of labour, participants (in small groups, if I’m working with a group) are asked to think about:
Who do we contact? How can we be ready? What do we need to remember to take with us?
Comfort measures
What’s happening in the body? Where are we? Where are we going?
This gives expectant parents a great opportunity to think practically: Is there enough fuel in the car? Do we both know where the maternity notes are? Is the birth bag ready? Do we have a plan B for transport, just in case? It leads nicely into how ‘being ready’ and having a plan B can help labour start and progress – bringing it back to hormones. See my ideas for teaching about hormones during childbirth.
Your birth trauma is real. Sadly, the UK maternity system is under huge strain. Induction, caesarean and assisted birth rates are rising – and so is the number of parents experiencing birth trauma.
What is birth trauma (postnatal PTSD)?
There are four main symptoms:
Avoidance: avoiding anything or anyone that reminds you of the trauma – for example, other parents with babies, or going to (or past) the place where you gave birth.
Re-experiencing: reliving the traumatic event through nightmares, flashbacks or intrusive memories that make you feel panicky or distressed.
Hypervigilance: feeling constantly on alert, jumpy and irritable, or worried that something bad will happen to your baby.
Low mood: feeling low and unhappy, or guilty and blaming yourself for your birth experience. You may also find it hard to remember parts of the birth.
Not everyone who has a traumatic experience develops PTSD, but it is a common response to trauma. It’s involuntary – you can’t help it, and it can’t be cured by “snapping out of it” or “focusing on the positive”.
Perhaps you’re reading this because your birth trauma is stopping you (and/or your partner) from trying for another baby? Or because people keep telling you to “snap out of it”? Or maybe you can’t sleep, or feel you can’t bond with your baby, because of your birth experience?
You are not alone. Your birth trauma is real. Research shows that around 4–5% of people who give birth develop PTSD – and fathers and partners can develop PTSD after witnessing a traumatic birth, too.
How can you get help with birth trauma?
The Birth Trauma Association (BTA) explains where and how to get help, including their peer support and how to access psychological support. You could talk to professionals such as:
other parents through the BTA’s peer support network
There may be families near you who have also experienced birth trauma and would be happy to share their experiences – the BTA can help you find local volunteers and peers.
If you’re pregnant again after a traumatic birth, here are some ideas to help you enjoy your pregnancy and start looking forward to meeting your baby.
There’s no quick fix, but there are plenty of options – and it’s important to talk to someone. A trauma-informed doula or hypnobirthing practitioner can work with you on what happened last time, help you find closure, and then help you plan for this new birth. A practitioner trained in the rewind technique (a gentle therapy for processing traumatic memories) may also help you heal.
In short:
work through your previous birth (for example, with the rewind technique)
acknowledge that it is in the past
find closure for your previous birth
acknowledge that this is a completely new baby and a new experience
start to look forward to your new birth experience
Your steps towards an empowered birth experience are shown in the image below. You may also find my post Pregnant again helpful.
My online course to help you prepare for your baby’s birth
Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:
Induction for a big baby – and what does a hamster have to do with birth?
If you follow Dr Sara Wickham, you may already know this one. The 2016 Cochrane review on suspected big babies (macrosomia) found that the difference in birth weight between babies who were induced early and babies whose labour started on its own was just 178g. That’s about the weight of a hamster 🐹 or a medium-sized pear 🍐 (see Sara Wickham’s book In Your Own Time for more!). That should make your ‘big’ baby seem a little less big and scary.
That said, it’s your body, your baby and your choice! If you feel an induction or caesarean birth is the right choice for you, then that’s what you should choose. A good doula or perinatal educator will support you in making the right decision for you and your baby, and support your choice. But if you’re reading this, chances are you feel that an induction (or caesarean) for a big baby isn’t what you want.
How can you decide whether to have an induction for a big baby?
The aim of inducing labour for a big baby is to reduce the chance of the baby ‘getting stuck’ (shoulder dystocia). In most cases, shoulder dystocia doesn’t cause any long-term problems. Here is a printable summary of the Cochrane Pregnancy and Childbirth findings to help you make the right choice for you and your baby:
Reasons you might decline an induction for a big baby
If your baby’s size is the only reason for the recommendation, you may wish to decline the induction.
The main reason induction is recommended is the assumption that big babies are at higher risk of shoulder dystocia. In reality, 7–15% of big babies have some difficulty with the birth of their shoulders, and most of these situations are handled by midwives or obstetricians without any lasting harm to the baby. Permanent nerve injury from shoulder dystocia happens in about 1 in 555 babies weighing between 8lb 13oz and 9lb 15oz, and about 1 in 175 babies weighing 9lb 15oz or more.
Interestingly, people with high blood sugar levels during pregnancy have a higher risk of shoulder dystocia even when their baby isn’t considered big. This is because the baby’s weight can be distributed differently: problems are more likely when the baby’s head is relatively small compared with their shoulders and tummy (Kamana et al., 2015).
But can we really tell how big your baby is?
How accurate are growth scans or feeling the bump (palpation)? In short, both are similarly unreliable at predicting a baby’s size.
For scan accuracy, see table 3 in this article (copied below). It shows how accurate ultrasound weight estimates were for scans done within three days before birth, preterm (before 37 weeks) and at term (37+ weeks).
Proportion of estimates within
±10%
±15%
±20%
Gestational age at scan:
<37 weeks
69.6%
85.6%
91.9%
≥37 weeks
72.8%
89.6%
95.9%
To read more about induction for big babies, I recommend:
Please also check out my online course! No videos, just text and images to learn in your own time. Includes hypnobirthing mp3s, scripts, workbook, handouts, infographics and much more! Lots and lots of information at your fingertips! Includes:
How can you teach physical skills to parents who choose to have an epidural, and help improve their birth experience and comfort?
Parents with an epidural are limited in how much they can move. Although they won’t feel their contractions, they can still benefit from massage and breathing techniques. Skin-to-skin touch helps oxytocin flow, which supports the birth process, and calm breathing helps optimise oxygen supply for the birthing parent and baby. Being relaxed may also reduce the risk of the baby becoming distressed. So it’s important to include parents who plan to have an epidural when you teach physical skills for labour and birth.
With clients who choose (or are likely) to have an epidural, I focus on hand massage, face and head massage and breathing techniques.
Ideas for teaching physical skills for parents having an epidural
Combined with a peanut ball, these techniques have worked wonders for my doula clients! Here are some ideas to use in your classes:
Face, head and neck massage
Clients can massage their own face, head and neck, or ask their partner to do it for them, following the image below:
Hand massage
Hand massages are very popular, and the skin-to-skin contact between the birthing person and their partner helps oxytocin flow. Ask your clients to try these hand massage techniques on themselves or their partner:
gentle circular movements on the palm, the back of the hand and the fingers
gently pulling each finger (DON’T make them click!)
Breathing techniques
Encourage clients to practise breathing techniques, and their comfortable breathing pattern, together with their birth partner. When the birth partner knows the birthing person’s comfortable pace, they can help them get back to it by counting them in and out, or by keeping eye contact and breathing at that pace with them. For more ideas, see How to Teach Breathing Techniques That Actually Stick.
Peanut ball
Because it can be used on the bed, a peanut ball is an excellent tool for labour and birth with an epidural. Here are some positions to encourage your clients to try:
Semi-reclined: the birthing person sits semi-reclined with one leg over the peanut ball and the other beside it. The ball should be as close to them as is comfortable. If it starts to slide, tuck a pillow, cushion or rolled-up towel underneath to hold it in place. This position helps the cervix dilate and the baby descend, when the baby is in a good position.
Side-lying: with the birthing person lying on their side, the peanut ball lifts and supports the upper leg – either just the thigh, or the whole leg including the ankle. This helps open the pelvic outlet and may help a posterior (back-to-back) baby rotate into a better position for birth.
Sitting: the birthing person can also sit on the peanut ball and give birth in that position.
For the second stage of labour with an epidural, a peanut ball can help support a comfortable, effective birth position (see above).
With an epidural, the birthing parent may not know exactly where or how to push. This breathing technique can help:
Breathing technique for the second (pushing) stage of labour with an epidural
Ask your clients to make a fist and blow into it, as if they were blowing up a balloon. This uses the diaphragm, which naturally helps the body push in the right place and way.
